I've had several reoccurring dreams in which I am completely alone. The setting is usually in a familiar place or somewhere I'd like to be, but there's always something different than it is in reality (although I don't recognize the differences during the dream. In those dreams I have memories, but no proof that they ever happened. I get touchy after a while because the feeling is so realistic and overwhelming. There's nothing except the memories that haunt me. I would consider this a nightmare because the emotions are so raw and immense. It's torturing to be able to imagine a happy life when there is no physical reminisce. Each dream is slightly different. Maybe the setting is different, or maybe the memories are different. Sometimes the only thing I am able to recollect are the grotesque deaths of those I love and it's usually my fault their dead. In other occasions My dream starts off with someone or something comfortable like walking with a close friend or being with my lone gone family. Then all of a sudden everything is gone again. The scenes don't exactly terrify me, but I have to admit that the way it all plays out in my mind, that it does make me really uncomfortable for a while. When I wake up everything is quiet and it just leaves me thinking.
I have to admit my greatest fear is failure. It always has been. I was raised in an enviorment in which much was expected of me. At some point things started falling apart and it became a struggle to keep it together. I am terrified of not making something out my life since I already failed in so many other areas.
Your nightmare sounds subtley terrifying!
ReplyDeleteYou aren’t old enough to have failed in that many areas. Don’t fear failure. Just do your best and work hard to live a descent life. You’ll be fine.